In the end of August, I moved away from New Mexico--where I had lived for the last year. My sister and I had held many a conversation about spirituality and its relevance. The same could be said about my best friend there, Keith Baugh. Only we talked much about philosophy and psychology as well. After awhile, those things deteriorate the ability to believe in anything metaphysical such as a deity. This brought me to the days when I would suggest to myself that my love for God was all summoned... That it was all a lie. I was convinced that any experience I had in the church was an act.
So I left New Mexico in a new state of mind: I was going to leave the faith.
I figured that I had nothing to believe in simply because everything I could possibly believe in or about God could be explained away with science. Or even that those who defended the belief did nothing but leave it up to "faith". Statements like "I know just because I know" or "You haven't FELT God like I have" seem to hold no water with me. So I proposed that I would live my life without God. Two months later, I began shuffling into my old church out of curiosity, but left with a new point of view: it was time for me to find who I was once and for all.
Come back on Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 to find out what's next.
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