Today I spoke with a good friend of mine about things I have pent up inside of me. I'm all alone in the world with no one to share everything with. It was incredible to share some of my most introspective thoughts and walk away feeling unjudged.
When I sat adjacent to my confidant, I unloaded about my feelings toward faith. "Things are so incredibly boring" I said. His response was something I hadn't considered: it is not with faith that I hold my discontent, but life as a whole.
My existence has come to be less than satisfactory to the world. Truthfully, I don't assume my life makes a bit of difference to anyone (outside the obligatory family influence). Not that I feel worthless; I have a future and I know that. Right now, I feel like I have failed the world.
No job. No car. No license. No money. No education. No connections. Nothing.
But I am who I am.
After the conversation, I began to contemplate areas of my life that bore me.
-Faith
-Home
-Relationships
-Forum
And the list goes on. The things that I have bore me. It's the things that lie out of reach that would prove to be more exciting.
-School
-Work
-My acoustic guitars
Now you might be thinking "Well, Cory... We all have things we want and can't have." That is true, but right now my life is full of nothing, essentially. I've decided what it is I need to change.
Well... Sort of.
Basically, my life just needs a shake-up. Something interesting. Something I can wake up thinking about each day.
So, I will continue to mould my future through servitude at Westwinds. I plan on getting my hands into as many things as I can in hopes of maybe learning something. It could be good. Even more long-term, though, I have a very high interest level in joining Americorps.
During the year of service in Americorps, I would make dirt money for my many months of servitude. The good news is that it would continue to hone in on my nature to help people. Not to mention the level of networking an experience like that provides.
There are several states in which I could serve. Americorps pays for travel and no car is needed. It's pretty rad, actually. And, as an added bonus, it would help me pay my phone bill! Not that it makes a huge difference.
So, that's my life in a nut-shell. I'm looking to make some huge changes in my life. Who knows how it will turn out? Maybe life will bore me no matter the circumstances. But chances are that it jump-starts a new era in my life!
Thanks for reading.
Cory
P.S. I'm thinking about writing a novella.
